Its all about me, the shoes and the guy…

Well to start off with I should probably start with my name – that’s how most general introductions go right?

I’m Shona to most – occasionally Shonster or Shonie, the nicknames are not really appreciated and tend to be used in winding me up quite successfully.

I am 20 years old, soon to be the big 21 – the key to adulthood as they say. I’m not so sure, I feel like I was thrust into the adult world when I moved from my lovely little home of Elgin [up north to those who don't know - when you reach Aberdeen ... keep going up] to be thrust into the city life of Dundee. I moved to Dundee September of 2006 to start my Criminological studies course at Abertay University – we were not well suited so I left in May 2007 after completing my first year and passing my exams. I remained in Dundee and have been working in the wonderful world of Marks and Spencer since Christmas 07. But enough about boring and tedious work that makes the world go round -and makes me want to poke out my eyeballs.

Getting back on track as I am truly horrendous for going off the point – this is an introduction to me so I guess I should let on to the fact that I could talk and write for Britain. I guess I should explain why I’m doing this right? Well I have been doing blogs for years on the wonderful and awful world that is MySpace, I am also returning to uni this September to study English literature so figured getting my writing skills and grammar up to scratch would be a positive thing. My other half – who I shall introduce later on- was the one who introduced me to WordPress and I thought it sounded better than posting on MySpace and having the odd view, I’d like to see if people think my writing is up to anything – I’ve been told it is and don’t get me wrong I was chuffed but it has been by friends so I thought I would put my writing and imagination to the test on a blog site and see what the response is.

The most important things in my life are my guy, my dog and my friends. Then coming in close runners up are fashion, art, music and photography. My guy is a lovely young man who goes by the name of Graeme. he is at Abertay and is studying Computer Games Technology and he’s very good at it. He is very much the love of my life and he has my whole heart always. Ive had a pretty tough year – not as tough as some – but it could have been better and Graeme has been there every step of the way keeping me afloat. And that is priceless, committed and honest love. Its love that i had never experienced before – sure ive had my heart broken a couple of times, one worse than the other and I came out of the last one slightly more jaded and with more bridges up than ever before… and then along came Graeme. And he made me let him in and we have never looked back. I know your probably reading this and thinking okay okay enough of the ick factor already – its not perfect but thats why it works – we work through it when we have a blazing horrible row because its unconditional.

Next up is my dog – my little white ball of fluff that runs around the place like a bull in a china shop – he is a west highland terrier called Bailey and all he gives is complete and unconditional love. He is a little monster half the time, walk him without his lead on and your in for trouble – if he sees another dog you better get your marathon runner shoes on because he’d be off. But then he hates being left alone, god forbid you wouldn’t let him sleep on the bed with you – much to Graeme’s complete dismay. He lives with my grandparents as we are not allowed pets but I miss him with all my heart – sometimes I hate seeing people with their dogs because it makes me ache thinking that he thinks I left him or thinking that one day ill go home to visit and he wont know me. He comes to visit and that keeps me going.

My friends are next. I look at some of them sometimes and think what would have happened if id never known them or met them. I have my friends from home in Elgin – there is Donna who is training to be a primary school teacher in Aberdeen and i think she will be truly fantastic. There is Kylie who is doing nursing in Glasgow and who I have every faith in to make an amazing nurse. Then there is Lois who is also in Aberdeen and is at Grays doing Art – which she doesnt give her self enough credit for, she is phenomenal. Then I should mention Marie – dont quite know what to put about our friendship; were chalk and cheese, Prada and Primark and were definitely love and hate. We have known each other all the way back to primary 5 where we initially didnt get on – she thought I had come along to steal her best friend who I got on with very well from the minute I moved to Elgin. It wasnt the case and i understand her reasons, it had just been the two of them for so long and then me. Our mutual friend moved away and it was just the two of us which was when we became inseparable opposites. We didnt do anything without each other and it remained this way pretty much through most of primary school and the majority of high school, this was however when we started to grow more as individuals – i started taking a big interest in art and fashion – i didnt like jumping on the bandwagon but at the same time i have always been more reserved than Marie. She says her opinion and doesnt quite care much for anybody elses alot of the time. And once her opinion is made there is not altering it – its set in stone – if she says she doesnt like someone then she damn well doesnt like them, if she does like someone then the sun shines out of their fingertips – ive always felt i was more the first than the latter and we have a friendship based on longevity rather than well raw unconditional friendship. I didnt like her boyfriend during our last years of school who was also friends with our circle of friends at school and was also very close with he who shall not be named who broke my heart. The result was that we didnt talk, we didnt go to prom together – which all by itself broke my heart, we didnt communicate and then things eased off when she left for university. Some of my friends had also taken a gap year like myself and it was good and peaceful and lacking in the strong judgments that i feel Marie so freely makes. We both have ended up Dundee which is slightly unbelievable – but we have our own lives which as different as they are i make sure intertwine. I dont think she realises sometimes that as much as we differ I love her and I hope she loves me in some way – she will never love me like i do her, she has been an enormous part of my life and i think she always will, i still think our friendship has many more turns to take before the creases are ironed out…

There are then my two main girls in Dundee, that would be my flatmate Fiona and Kirsty. We all lived in the same block in  halls – me and Fiona in the same flat. I don’t need to say much about them because i know they have my back and they will always have my heart. Friends you make at uni are very different – ive never been one for having hundreds of friends you dont talk to but more having people that mean something to you. Like these to do. So for that they are my girls now and forever.

Other than all of the above i am a fashion addict and adore sitting with a huge mug of tea or a french martini and browsing through fashion magazines or online at vintage stores, i never have enough money for things i would quite happily sell my brother for but i can always look – i mean what i would give for a pair of authentic Christian Louboutin’s or for a truly classic Prada handbag or some Chanel that isn’t perfume. I own a disgustingly expensive pair of Prada and Chanel glasses and some Chanel sunglasses that are getting old. I am also in love with a Sonia Rykiel postbox red fur coat that would set you back a staggering £1500. I feel cheeky to be even searching her site and drooling over it but I do. However – I do buy things if i like them regardless of where they are from – there is not one thing wrong with anything from highstreet stores – Topshop used to be fantastic but i feel has gone slightly down hill as of late, also Next and Marks and Spencer have some lovely one offs. But deep down I am very much a high fashion/couture addict. Anyone up for a swap – a lovely brother for some Prada then do get in touch…

My last final note is that I am a type one diabetic and am an enormous fan of cookies. Only joking. Well actually not quite. I am however not joking about the diabetes – i have been type one since August 2006 just before i went to uni. It has become a huge roller coaster that has taken over my life and has made me reassess things to an extent. I am obviously much more aware about my life and the longevity of it. I was told i had weeks to live – the prospect at having your life and the possibility that it was the end thrust right in your face, up close and personal – that wasn’t so fun and i am very happy to admit that i was scared from my fingertips to my toes. I wasnt ready to go yet or give up – i had things i wanted to do, dreams i wanted to achieve; i needed to meet my man, go to uni, buy some prada, buy some art, travel, make my family proud, be a mummy, be a friend for longer, love for longer, get a tattoo, get some more piercings in my ear lobes -id always wanted 3 in each ear – which i now have along with my sun tattoo; every day has a new sun that brings with it new hope. My sun is my ongoing and constant hope and my reminder that i now have my life all to myself and not to waste one single second of it – to love my graeme like i have never loved before, to forgive when i didnt think it possible, not to have fear, to be be myself because it made me realise that me/myself/I – is not bad, im not a bad person and blame cant be placed on anybody when something comes into your life that was never there and takes up camp and aint moving on until you move on to a more peaceful and rested place – wherever that is.

So that is it – i would love feedback and comments; be honest tell me what you think – bad and good.