When you wish you be could be a movie star

Listening to: Bring on the wonder – Susan Enan 

Today was not what I would call a great day – Fiona’s grandmother died today. From emphysema. My dads mum had emphysema and it is a horrible thing to get, its very long and drawn out and can take years, as it did in my Nanny Olive’s case. The same with Fiona’s granny. I feel for Fiona so much, my nanny and I are very close and always have been and I would be completely inconsolable if something happened to her. Fiona is not a very emotional person and I think she is struggling to come to terms with her feelings, she tries to bottle things up and I think in this situation that could be a bad combination. She had asked me to the funeral whenever they decide to have it and I have said I will go with her. She is like my family and I want to be there for her. I am worried that the funeral is when she will let go. I know I did, tried to be strong for everyone else at my Nanny’s and then I just couldn’t do it anymore. All I can do is be there for her and let her know i’m there for her.  When something like this happens it makes me immediately think of my grandparents and makes me want to hang onto them for every possible second, they have always been a huge factor in mine and my brother’s lives and my mums and to think of them not here is unthinkable, unimaginable, and unrealistic. They are like the head of the family, my nana is someone whom everyone should have the chance meet – she is a true diamond. A sparkling diamond. And my heart aches I miss her so much. Onto something else that may seem irrelevant and petty in regards to the above but it is something that has been bothering me very much as of late. I am getting sick of diabetes being referred to inappropriately on the television. Sick sick sick. To clarify – there are 2 types of diabetes; type one which is insulin dependent and type two which is diet controlled and medication is given in tablet form. You do not get both types from being overweight – that is type two which is linked in with poor diet and personal exercise. Type one is when your pancreas refuses to produce insulin anymore and you are required to inject insulin into your body to keep it going. It makes me furious when I watch the TV and it is so wrongly represented – the general reflection of diabetes is that you get it from being “fat” – well I can tell you from the horses mouth that isn’t true, I was not fat at the time of being diagnosed and enjoyed going to the gym and I ate relatively healthy – could have been better but could have been a lot worse so for starters I resent feeling like I have me myself and I to blame for having a non working pancreas and second feeling completely misrepresented regularly by the media. More needs to be done to make diabetes a well know condition – it is something that affects so many people and you ask people the facts and not many people could tell you. I would love to push forward new initiatives regarding diabetes and the now widely reported “diabetes time bomb” which does link to type 2 diabetes and the obesity levels in Britain. It is something that needs to made into more of an issue – i.e. diabetes month, diabetes UK is fantastic for information but still not on a big enough level, I would love to be able to wear a diabetes pin badge and make people generally more aware so that a higher percentage of people are aware of it and the consequences involved if its not treated correctly. If anyone has any suggestions on how to make diabetes awareness more profound then leave comments. This is just very short as I have had a long day at work and am looking forward to Eastenders, some toast and a cuppa and my bed.  Until next time Shona

~ by trulytragic on March 7, 2008.